peace

old brother new life

My baby brother has 7 vargas girl pinup tatoos, one tatoo that says MOM, and he burps and farts all the time. He also converted to an ism. I was going to say which one, but it doesn't really matter. It's a conservative organized religion. He tells his wife what to do by suggesting his desired outcome, they discuss it, she always agrees, and even when she doesn't they do what he says. When they got married, she was a sucessful, never married, smart, homeowning, career having, independent woman. Now she is virtually helpless. He won't let her wipe her nose alone. She is very devoted to the ism, and has taken her role as "wife" seriously. He was never going to convert. she adores his burping and farting self. then they had a baby, and he decided to take the plunge...(literally..he got baptised) my mom became apoplectic, and i supported his happiness. he fits in finally. but I miss my misfit brother. (I use that term loosely because is a funny intelligent dude)
yesterday my sister in law and I went to get an ice pellet soda, and were gone for 2 hours. it was a cloudless sunny day. no snow or ice. we were having fun and forgot to call. my brother loaded my 2 month and 2 year old nephews up in the minivan (he used to own 2 '57 cadillacs)and went looking for us. he called the hospitals. when I finally heard the phone ring he started yelling at me...we were pulling up inthe driveway...he cornered her in the garage, made her cry and told her she can never do that again--he just loves her too much. (reminscent of a jealous, controlling abusive psycho husband...it REALLY creeped me out) I am here visiting...they live 1600 miles away. we were visiting. babies were napping. daddy was on the computer.
OK we didn't call. we didn't mean to upset anyone. but we are 40 year old women who like to chat and we were driving aroundlooking for a t-shirt that I really wanted. hours later she was crying about it. he told her how he callled the hospitals. why? it's not like she didn't feel bad enough already...the only reason to do that would be to make her feel worse.
and someone told her you cannot take babies out of the house for the first 2 months of their lives.
he got pissed the night before when some guy came too the door peddling magazines. my brother thinks all those people are scammers...and declined. the guy called him a loser, and wished god's blessing upon him and walked away. my brother was furious. I said maybe the guy thinks you are a loser but really does want you to be blessed...that set him off. "at my front door?!!!!" "you mean you wouldn 't have a problem if someone called you a loser at your front door?!!!" I paused, and really considered the question..."I honestly don't think I"d care" for some reason that infuriated him.
we had a conversation about his angels. I told him thqat I'm bummed that he has made arrangements in the case of untimely deaths of he and his wife, that the boys go to her brother and sisterinlaw. He said I don't live a lifestyle to take care of kids. Im travelling all the time, etc. "I don't have children," I replied. well, it's not l ike I don't trust you, he said.....of course I know what that means. It's like when you refer to someone by saying, "oh, there goes daisy, bless her heart" you know they think you're a disabled loser. that's exactly wht my brother left me with.
his ism doesn't allow for everyone to be together in death...only if you do the right things here...at the specific organized religion gathering place.
The energy in my skin is uncomfortable. the next time I visit, UI'm going to rent a car and stay in a hotel.
Oh, I forgot to tell y ou that my brother won't let my 47 year old boyfriend and I sleep; ;in the same room in his house, because we are bnot married. I am 40 years old, we live togethger, and may very well never be married....AND he slept in the same bed with his wife before they married.
Please don't think I am making him wrong. that isn't what I meant. Im venting, and I dn't understand him. She has lived the ism her whole life and doesnt' act like this.
his life is not about me, and the 2 year old loves to play with auntie daisy.
there is spiritual unrest in this house...not just mine.
I'm glad I'm going home today.
I love my brother and his family.
I love my brother and his new life makes me feel like I wanna puke.
I love my brother and am happy that he finally feelslike he belongs.
I love my brother.